Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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