She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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