He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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