I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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