Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
her vagine was all disorganized.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize