margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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