hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
