I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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