i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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