The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
