i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
