You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
