drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
