Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
