that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
