Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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