I think my fart just growled at me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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