Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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