ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
