well you can't waste a boner
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
