I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
