Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
