just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
