there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
