well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What a dumb baby whore.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
