I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
