Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't put those talents on a resume
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
