you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
