I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
