Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
