Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
