I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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