Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
