I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
