The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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