There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize