Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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