it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
