Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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