I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
