He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
