To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
