you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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