I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
