Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
