Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
