i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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