You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
