HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
