i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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