just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
