She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
