So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
