you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I pour the whiskey from now on
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
