My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
