We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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