They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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