playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
