Me too!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
