oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
