so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
