i will never coherently bang her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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