My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
