I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I believe in your delicious
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
