I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
